"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."
Thoughts from the Mall...
So we just came back from a lovely trip to the Mall. Tyson's Corner Center, to be exact. If you're from the Washington, DC area, chances are you know of it as one of the two largest upscale malls on the Virginia side (the other one being Fashion Centre and Pentagon City). It's one of those areas which grew from a mall into a small city itself: Tyson's Corner simply used to be the crossroads of Virginia Routes 7 and 123. Then the Mall went up. Now it's a bustling location with shops, restaurants, office parks, convention center hotels, overpriced apartments and more. They even have an even more upscale Mall across the street called, appropriately, Tysons II.
Here are a few random thoughts about the trip today. Keep in mind that I'm not so much of a mallrat anymore, but I used to be in high school and the beginning of college:
The cars with the most sensitive alarms seem to be parked in the closest spots to the mall. That way, you can hear the "watch it -- you're too close" beeps every minute or so.Remember when working at the Disney Store was cool? It was back in the late '80s and early '90s that the Disney Store was at the top of the food chain. You got to wear the funky sweaters and work in a themed environment, something new for its time. It was also quite selective: you needed to meet the Disney "look," which meant having your hair and fingernails of uniform length per management, and you also needed to know all the Disney trivia you could muster. Nowadays, it's slightly less cool than being a greeter at Wal-Mart. The one we were at today was middle-aged women who were obsessed about the stacking order of the beanie-babies. My, times have changed...Fashion Tip: If you're going to be in a glittery, skimpy little silvery tank top with extra thin spaghetti straps that's going to show lots of tummy -- be sure you've at least turned ten, okay? If there are a thousand of you out there -- only one of you has potential to be the next Jamie Lyn Spears. The other 999 have potential to yell at each other on Ricki Lake.Air Jordan Slippers: Why?We're out of original music. I noticed this on the way to the mall, actually. We heard 311's cover of "Lovesong" by the Cure. Which isn't all that bad, I guess... but we had also heard Jessica Simpson's cover of Berlin's "Take My Breath Away." Which isn't very good at all. Kanye West's "Through the Wire" takes us back to Chaka Khan's "Through the Fire." It just appears that there's nothing left. At least nothing that mainstream radio is playing nowadays. And sadly, that's not much of anything good anymore...Speaking of Jessica Simpson: Not only does she have her cover of "Take My Breath Away," but she has a sappy story to go along with it. And she has her Pizza Hut commercial -- which rewards her, even more, for being an idiot on camera. When will the fifteen minutes end?I simply don't get the people who stand in front of the big map of the mall -- while looking at an unfolded map of the very same mall at the same time. What do they know that I don't?Ever see the movie Minority Report? Remember the mall scenes where pretty much every flat surface is covered with projected, moving advertisements? We're getting pretty close to that. The posters in the kiosks change every 20 seconds or so. Unfortunately, they're not updated all that often. But they're repetitive. Which is why all I can think about right now is that One Tree Hill has new episodes every Tuesday night on WB 50.It may be called Express Men, but it's a women's store than sells men's clothing. Leslie Wexner and Company should have simply left "Structure" alone instead of compartmentalizing it under the "Express" name. I miss Structure -- the Roman columns, the Italian flair to the place.Why do they need a Talbot's for Women and a Talbot's for Men? Is there really that much merchandise that they sell that they can't simply unify to one big Talbot's? I also saw "Pottery Barn for Kids." It isn't -- It's "Pottery Barn for Adults Who Want To Make Their Kids' Rooms Look Cool." Case and Point: No race-car beds. Race-car beds rock.Bang and Olufsen: This is a high-end, expensive stereo store. The name has always made me think that it's an Ikea-like furniture store. Hardly. I'm waiting for the day that they specialize B&O by gender -- He-Bang and Olufsen, She-Bang and Olufsen. Catchy...Bath and Body Works used to be all nice and down-home with that pine-wood floor and paneling. Now it just looks bright white. When did that happen?Build-a-Bear Workshop is actually pretty cool. My wife describes them as this generation of Cabbage Patch Kids. The premise is that kids can gather there for a bear making party -- they get the pre-sown fabric in the shape of the bear of their choosing, and they fill it up with stuffing. Then -- they get to dress it with accessories to personalize it they way they want it. Probably the most creative thing I saw in the mall. I also found it cool that, at that given time that we were there -- the number of boys who were into it far outnumbered the number of girls. I didn't expect that a boy would have the meltdown that he couldn't get the bear roller skates -- but I wasn't disappointed at all. Boys can make teddy bears, too! Some may call it latent metrosexuality, I simply call it creativity.Aaah, the mall -- it brings out the best in me, doesn't it?
Another incident makes me proud to be a Democrat
This is pretty obvious.
Eyes on the back of my head