One of the most influential people in my life was Mrs. Kagen. She taught second grade for me.

In my school, Mrs. Kagen was a legend. And the legend has far surpassed her life (she died sometime in the 1990s.) Her curriculum included not only reading, writing and 'rithmetic, but also how to push us to do our very best, how to treat one another, how to love, and how to be loved.

Surprisingly enough, there were cliques in our class as early as second grade. There was an inherent social order to our world based on the type and abundance of puffy stickers you had. I kid you not. The ones with the googly-eyes were quite valuable, as were the ones that changed color when you looked from a different angle. The elite of the class formed a club that would sit together during lunch -- "The Sticker Club."

It was primarily girls, but there were also some boys in the sticker club. But it was very cliquey. And very exclusive. Some of us had stickers and wanted to be a part of it, but we were turned away. Rejection. Depression...

Mrs. Kagen decided to put a stop to it. And here's how she did it:

Step 1: Tuesday Afternoons are "Club Days." This made the Sticker Club happy at first, as they now had an opportunity to not do school work and cavort more with each other. And there would be other clubs as well -- science club, geography club, music club -- all these other clubs around so none of the other dorks would bother them! What a great idea!

However, of the 22 people in the class, 18 decided they wanted to be in the Sticker Club. And Mrs. Kagen wouldn't let them turn anyone away.

Step Two: Force an Objective on the Sticker Club. Everyone got out their stickers and made a circle with their chairs. And they had no friggin clue what to from thereon. Mrs. Kagen asked them to come up with things the Sticker Club could do. The only thing the original clique could do was make themselves in charge. But it all seemed kind of pointless now.

The next week, everyone joined other "clubs." Except for the Sticker Club leadership who, of course, couldn't leave their own lame-ass club, because they had been put in charge.

You may be wondering -- why have I been writing all this drivel?

Earlier this week, the new flag for the new Iraq was unveiled. And apparently this caused a lot of controversy. Not only was the new flag picked by the new U.S. leaders of Iraq, but many Iraqis have been quite critical of the new design. On the most part, it was designed by U.S. leaders of Iraq, which is bad enough. That's even worse than having Mrs. Kagen take over your club. That's more like having her suck the "cool" out of the club with one fell swoop.

The other thing is that the flag apparently is too reminiscient of Israel's flag. I can understand this; as you can see, it's quite difficult to tell the two flags apart. I have the new Iraqi flag on the left and the Israeli flag on the right. Or is it the other way around? It gets so confusing for me sometimes... In any case, a decision has been made today to darken the shade of blue used in order to distinguish it better from the Israeli flag. Thank God for that! Maybe then we'll be able to tell the difference...

Other talking points: That yellow stripe is supposed to represent the Kurds who live in Iraq. And they're like a 20% minority! Is there a reason they need to be represented on the flag? I see two possible answers to this: (1) The Kurds seem to be the only group in Iraq welcoming the U.S. led coalition into the country, and (2) I see no hint of yellow on the Israeli flag.

There are also complaints that the phrase "God is Great" is no longer on the flag. It was actually added by Saddam Hussein right before the Persian Gulf War of 1991 in order to boost morale of the people in his nation. And now this is being taken away...

Look - remember when Michael Jordan re-joined the Bulls after he discovered that, perhaps, a career in Minor League baseball wasn't for him? He was issued jersey #45. How long did that last? Not very. The fans were all wearing #23, and soon after he was as well. Twenty-three was an icon for him. Same goes for the Iraqi people -- let them have a choice in the matter. After all, we're doing such a wonderful job choosing things for them already. Let them determine what flag they feel most comfortable with.

Because our flag has completely rained on Iraq's sticker club.

Mrs. Kagen would be proud...