"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."

Yes -- it's a meme. Kind of. But I didn't steal it from anyone on Mindsay! Instead, I went to the rest of the blogosphere and found something quite unique at another blog -- avitable.com . (He stole it from someone else, so I assume this is okay.)

Premise: There are 20 questions below where Shiny interviews... well, Shiny. The answers to each of them are somehow related to a movie, television show, or popular song. Your mission: Determine what it is. Keep in mind that when you reply you'll be seeing everyone else's answers, so don't peek until you're ready to do so. Also -- put a piece of electrical tape on your monitor to cover the "Latest Comment" window. Forever.

Ready? Here we go...

1. Tell me about your parents.  What do you feel were some of the challenges in living with them?

It felt like I was alone in a world so cold. Perhaps I was too demanding of them, but my father always seemed too bold, and my mother was never satisfied. We always screamed at each other.

2. And what about your older brother?  Did you two get along well?

I always have to cover for him. I prefer the company of my twin sister and my little brother, Buster.

3. What kind of musical performances do you enjoy?

I like bands that wear business suits. I like watching them on TV.

4. How did you know that your wife, socKs, was "the one?"

You know, I've dated a whole bunch of fine looking women. But she brought me lasagna at work. Most everyone else just cheated on me.

5. You have a kid, right? What was your reaction when you two found out you were with child?

She actually wasn't sure if she was pregnant at first -- but ultimately it was easy to tell: her nipples was real brown.

6. Where did you put his crib when he came home from the hospital?

In the center of the room. Not in the corner.

7. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

An old vintage Cadillac. With a Grateful Dead decal stuck on it.

8. Have you had any car trouble lately?

I have.  Turns out that there was a banana stuck up my tailpipe.

9. How do you feel about organ donation?

I'm all for it. When I die, I'm donating my eyes to Stevie Wonder.

10.  What kind of food do you enjoy? What can't you stand?

I enjoy pecan pie.   But not paprikash. Too much pepper...

11.  Do you play a musical instrument?

I'm in a Police cover-band. We do weddings...

12.  No. I mean before this current gig. Didn't you have a musical career before this?

It's kind of embarrassing, but I was a pop star back in Canada where I performed at shopping malls.

13. What do you feel is the best attribute of women in general?

Their willingness to do the dishes, clean up my room, do the laundry, the bathroom, etc.  

14. Do you subscribe to any pornographic websites?

I do. One site.  It's called "Perfect Ten."  I like it because it doesn't sound overtly sexual. It could be a bowling site.

15. Shiny, are you homophobic? Do you have something against gay people?

Not at all! Actually, some of my best friends are gay! Take, for instance, Mark "Cutback" Davis and Bob "Jungle Vet" Gerard. Those guys are fags!

16. What did you order for dinner last night?

Four fried chickens. And a coke. And some dry, white toast.

17. In 1992 you became quite ill. Did they ever determine what it was?

Whatever it was, it wasn't lupus.

18. Do you ever blog anonymously? How would I know it's you?

I guess it's the purple prose that always gives me away...

19. Do you like collecting models / miniatures?

I have a model of Stonehenge which is 18" high.

20. What would you say if you caught me stealing from you?

I'd tell you to run and hide. Because I'd want my people to find you, and rest assured I wouldn't turn you over to the police. So my advice to you again would be this: Run and hide. That's all I would ask.