"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."

I just received something in the mail on Thursday which shocked me.

It was hand-addressed, and the return address looked vaguely familiar. The envelope looked to be the size of some kind of printed invitation. I was still trying to guess what this was and who sent it.

When I got inside, I opened it. It was a birth announcement for a kid named Justin, who was born on March 31, 2004. It mentioned who Justin was named for, and was signed by the parents, Ben and Julie, and their 14 month-old daughter, Samantha. (Yes, folks -- some names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

I was kind of troubled by this. The last time we saw the three of them was over Labor Day weekend at a brunch hosted by a mutual friend who also has a kid around Av's age. I recall that both Ben and I had to leave early, as we both had to work on Labor Day due to the nature of our jobs. We have great pictures of all three kids playing that day.

But I had no clue that they were expecting another kid. And it came as a complete shock that they had one -- over a month ago. And this was the first I was hearing about it.

You see, Ben was a friend of mine from freshman year at college. we met under some peculiar circumstances, but we had a lot in common. I felt that he was one of the most knowledgeable guys on certain subjects, and later on I discovered that he felt the same way about me.

We ended up sharing an apartment sophomore year, and we bonded even more. He went abroad junior year, and I secured him a place in an apartment for senior year as my roommate. Although we realized that we had certain annoying habits that made us better friends than roommates, we had a pretty amazing time -- especially with tales of our British-Jamacian roommate Chris who was trying to learn about American life.

Ben went to rabbinical school, and we were in touch on and off for a while. We would still joke around quite a bit whenever we would call or email. And when I was making my wedding plans, I knew exactly who I wanted as my best man. Having him there was incredible -- and it was great that K and he got along so well as well. (It was also quite funny that all of our relatives wanted to fix him up with any single women around -- but that's Jewish relatives for ya...)

He invited us to his rabbinical school ordination -- which we actually went to on the way home from our honeymoon! It was great to be a part of that as well. And we were excited that he was moving to our area for his pulpit! But his job kept him quite busy, so it wasn't so easy to schedule time to see him.

We were, of course, invited to his wedding in New York, and were looking forward to it incredibly much. But we ended up in the Emergency Room the day before the wedding and couldn't go. (Everyone's fine now.) Ben and Julie actually took time out of their honeymoon to phone us and make sure everything was okay.

When we announced we were pregnant -- they had some news for us as well: they were also pregnant, due at just about the same time! We had dinner together, realizing that these two would probably make excellent playmates.

And we would still see each other occasionally. Again, the last time being Labor Day.

And now -- the birth announcement. From a guy who was my best friend in college, and my Best Man at my wedding.

Do I have any feelings of animosity towards him? Not in the least. If anything, it's towards myself -- the way I've drifted away. I'm not one to remember birthdays and call people. We don't invite that many people over because the house is always too messy, etc. And I don't go out for drinks after work because my commute is so long, and we have Av to think about. But I'm also not great about emailing people. trying to keep in touch. Perhaps it's simply not a trait I've been wired with so efficiently. Perhaps it's because I'm afraid that I'm trying to hold on to relationships that may have already expired or softened.

Perhaps it's just that I'm not making enough time to do so.

This weekend I have a few things I'm going to do: I'm going to write emails to Jeremy, Beth and Zack -- all three are friends from high school, college, and a past job, respectively -- and they live in Rancho Cucamonga, London and Budapest. I want to at least let them all know that I'm thinking about them, and status them what's going on with me.

And we'll buy a present for Baby Justin. And a card. Perhaps I'll hand write it for a change and try to get back in good contact with Ben and his family.

Let's see what happens...