"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."

House Resolution 579 passed yesterday.

No, it isn't a bill which helps spread democracy in the Middle East while we fight the War on Terrorism. Or helping to rebuild levees in storm-ravaged New Orleans.

This was, apparently, much more important for Congress to discuss.

The House GOP Leaders pushed for passage of a bill to require protection for Christmas symbols. Because -- you know. War against Christmas is going on.  Far more important than anything else out there.

And it's a serious matter, this Christmas thing. When certain Democratic leaders asked that the House GOP add something in there to protect the symbols of Chaunkah?  They simply said "no."

Because -- I mean, hell! There aint no war on Chanukah, right?

So -- the vote passed overwhelmingly.  22 Democrats voted against the resolution. America and its esteemed leader, Bill O'Reilly, need not worry about this tragic (and completely made up) ban on Christmas.

I know. Many of you are proud that the House passed this -- taking some time out from these trivial issues like a Congressional budget cutting funding for social programs. Or this trivial War on Terror which pales in comparison to the War on Christmas.  But at least one representative had a little fun with the vote, reciting a poem on the House Floor -- effectively capturing the spirit of the reality of this heinous attack on religion in America.

And with that, I give you the words of Congressman John Dingell (D-MI)

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House,
no bills were passed `bout which Fox News could grouse.
Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
so vacations in St. Barts soon should be near.

Katrina kids were all nestled snug in motel beds,
while visions of school and home danced in their heads.
In Iraq, our soldiers need supplies and a plan,
and nuclear weapons are being built in Iran.

Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell.
Americans feared we were in a fast track to ..... well.
Wait, we need a distraction, something divisive and wily,
a fabrication straight from the mouth of O'Reilly.

We will pretend Christmas is under attack,
hold a vote to save it, then pat ourselves on the back.
Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger,
Wake up Congress, they're in no danger.

This time of year, we see Christmas everywhere we go,
From churches to homes to schools and, yes, even Costco.
What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy
when this is the season to unite us with joy.

At Christmastime, we're taught to unite.
We don't need a made-up reason to fight.
So on O'Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter and those right-wing blogs.
You should sit back and relax, have a few egg nogs.

'Tis the holiday season; enjoy it a pinch.
With all our real problems, do we really need another Grinch?
So to my friends and my colleagues, I say with delight,
a Merry Christmas to all, and to Bill O'Reilly, happy holidays.
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas."

Isn't he great? This Dingell guy?

Oh wait -- he ended up voting for the resolution anyway.

Oh well... we'll simply see how he votes when the Asarah b'Tevet resolution comes up...