"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."

And now -- my last blog entry, translated into the writing style of a 12 year-old kid on AOL:

934PM - BAK 2 BREAD AVERYON3!!!1111 LOL Y3S PASOV3R IS FINALY OVAR AS OF LAST NIGHT1!1111!1 OMG WTF LOL AND GOD RIDANCE 2 IT!1111 OMG USUALY IT DOASNT BOTHAR ME AS MUCH BUT THIS YAAR WIT AV G3TNG SIK AND DA W3ATHER BNG SO IKY WE JUST WANTED IT 2 B OVAR
FIRST11!1! LOL MAAL AFT3R SUNDOWN LAST NIGHT PAPA O SPINACH ALFREDO PIZA AND THERE BR3ADSTIKS1!1! OMG YUM11!1!! I CAN STIL FEL AL DA CARBS INSIED MAH BODY KIKIN BAK MAKNG TH3MS3LVES AT HOME AND TURNNG IN2 FAT DAPOSITS1111! OMG LOL WORTH IT THOUGH.
ON3!1!11!!!!1!11111 WTF LOL OF TEH PROBLEMS WIT PASOV3R IS TAHT I DONT CHEW GUM DURNG IT!!1!11 OMG WTF NOR DO I DRINK MAH CALOREI FRE SPARKLNG BVERAEG IMM HOKED ON111! WTF LOL AND WIT DA MATZAH WREKNG ONAS SYSTEM DA DRYNAS OF 3VERYTHNG - I GAT VARY PRONE 2 CANKER SORAS DURNG PASOVAR111!!!1 OMG LOL SO MAH MOUTH HURTS LIEK HEL AND IMM TRYNG 2 COPE AND JUST WATE TIL TH3SE THNGS DISAP3AR
CAES111! OMG WTF AND POINT LUNCH 2DAY WAS A V3GEI D3LIET SUB FROM SUBWAY1!!!11!1 OMG AS USUAL - MAH 3STEMED DIJON HORSERADISH SAUCE AND EXTRA PIKL3S!!!!11! OMG LOL OUCH!1!111!1 OMG LOL MAH MOUTH WAS ON FIER!!!1!!!! LOL IMM SIEDLINNG SUBWAY AL 2GETHER UNTIL MAH MOUTH CAN HANDL3 IT
AVI1!!11! LOL WENT BAK 2 DAY R 2DAY BUT H3 STIL HAS A S2MACH BUG OF SORTS!!1!!!11 LOL W3 HAEV HIM OF AL DAREY PRODUCTS FOR NOW AND HES ON RIEC AND APL3SAUCE FOR A WHIEL1!11111! WTF LOL POR GUY - U CAN T3L TAHT H3S JUST NOT HAPY BUT TRYNG HIS BST
ON1!1!!11 OMG LOL DA PROCRASTINATION FRONT - I FINISHED MAH TAEXS A GOD 28 HOURS BFORE DA D3ADLIEN - AND W3R3 EVEN G3TNG F3D3RAL AND LOCAL RAFUNDS!1!1 OMG THIS YEAR I SWOR3 IT WASNT GONG 2 HAP3N THIS WAY - IN FACT I CRANK3D UP TURBOTAX AS EARLY AS FABRUARY1!11!1! BUT DA LAST F3W IETMS FINALY STRAGEHTANED THEMSALVES OUT 2DAY!!1!1 OMG E-FILNG - WUT CAN I SAY??!?!!!? BT3R THAN SLIECD MATZAH.
I1111!!!!111!!!!11!1! OMG LOL RA-WATCHED W3T HOT M3RICAN SUMER WHIEL I WAS PLAYNG WIT SOME VIEDO COD3CS11!!! OMG WTF I WUD SAY TAHT THIS MOVE SIMPLY FITS MAH DEMOGRAPHIC 2 A T - ITS A PARODY OF AL OF THOSE 80S SUMER CMP MOVEIS (MEATBALS LITLE DARLNGS 3TC)!!11!1 SAT ON DA LAST DAY OF CMP IN TEH SUMAR OF 198111!111 OMG GRAAT CAST AS WEL - M3MBR OF TEH FORMER MTV SKATCH COMEDY SHOW TEH STAET JAENAEN GAROFALO DAVID HYDE PEIRCE FROM FRASEIR BRADLEY COPER (WIL TIPIN ON ALIAS) CHRIS M3LONI (FROM LAW AND ORDER SVU AND OZ) MAH POEHLER AND MOLY SHANON (SNL) PAUL RUD (FREINDS) AND MANY MORE11!1 ITS ONE OF DA MOST INAPROPRIAET FILMS 2 SHOW KIDS (AND ANY ADULTS WHO MAY B WARY OF TEH ACTS OF CMP COUNSELORS) BUT AXTR3MELY FUNY ON SO MANY O1111!1! OMG WTF - AND I WENT 2 F3TUSMART LIEK MANY OTHER BLOGARS OUT THEIR11!1!1!1!!!111!!!1!!!1 OMG WTF W3NT 2 FATUSMART AND FOUND OUT THEY DONT TAEK DISCOVER11!111 OMG HORAY JAR11!11

(Courtesy the English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator at
http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/aolertranslator.html.)