My cel phone is too big.

Don't get me wrong: It fits in my pocket just fine. It's smaller than a regular phone handset you'd see anywhere. It's certainly a far cry from the "brick" phones of the 1980s. (Anyone remember the short lived That '80s Show? "It's not a pay phone; it's a portable phone!")

But by today's standards, it's friggin huge. And quite outdated. It's a Nextel i1000plus. The stock photo of it is to the left. It does what I need it to. And it opens up to the size of a regular handset. But, most importantly, it has the two best features of Nextel phones: DirectConnect and the speakerphone.

My phone's been getting a bit old. Scratched up. Weatherbeaten. But it's been working pretty well until quite recently. The reception is starting to go, as well as the battery life; I decided about three weeks ago that it's just about time for a new phone.

So today, as usual, I pick up the phone from the table. I mentally kick myself for not charging it the night before, since I only have one bar left of the battery. I turn the phone off and stick it in my pocket, heading to work.

After work, I'm heading to day care to pick up the kid. When K IM's me at the end of the day saying that her handi (a term we picked up in Germany 4 years ago) is on, I realize that mine isn't on me. It's probably still in the car. I shrug and start to drive home. Where's the cel phone? Obviously not here...

Maybe it fell behind the seat? As I stop at traffic lights and in traffic, I'm feeling around the floor to find it, but with no success. No worries, I think -- I'll worry about it when I get home.

Then traffic grinds to a halt: Apparently there were two accidents on I-66 inside the Beltway. This, most likely, means nothing to most of you. To me, it meant no hope of getting to the day-care center before 6:00. And they fine you 15 bucks for every 15 minute you're late. We were late once, and that was back in September. I didn't want to be late again...

I had more of an opportunity to try to feel around for my cel phone. I was getting frustrated, feeling absolutely helpless. And then I remembered -- I went to Subway for lunch in Sue's 4Runner! It must be in there. Now - if only I could call her and find out...

Never mind that. I wait in line to bail out at the next exit -- which everyone else seemed to want to do at the exact same time. I eventually find a gas station with a pay phone in plain sight. I scrounge up 50 cents (Damn you, Verizon!) and call home, hanging up immediately before the machine picks up. I then call K -- who is just leaving Trader Joe's. With only 15 minutes to spare, she agrees to save my skin, yet again, and do the pick up. I'm stammering all flustered into the receiver of this crappy pay phone, kicking myself for not having been able to make the call earlier.

I get home. There's my family, getting ready for Shabbat dinner, happy to see me, making me feel calm after this stressful incident. I call Sue, still at work, who said she would look for the phone and call me back if she found it. I never received the call. I retraced my steps, but for naught. The phone was gone.

Oh well.. nothing I can do about it now, right? Besides -- I was thinking of getting a new phone anyway... We sat down to a wonderful Shabbat dinner. There were more important things in life than that stupid phone.

Fast forward a bit later: I bid on an i90c on ebay. (pictured right; man wih non-matching tie not included.) Surprisingly, I get the bid in at exactly the right time, and I'm the proud owner of a new phone. I call Nextel support, tell them what happened, and they mention that, when I decide that I want to declare my phone as lost/stolen, I should be able to transfer my number to the new phone without a problem. I'm happy that they'll work with me. The customer service rep is upbeat and cheery, and so am I. Pacing from room to room, getting the details, talking about my phone that's lost...

... and then I see it, in plain sight, sitting on the table in the den. Exactly where I had left it that morning instead of putting it in my pocket.

But hey! Now I have downloadable ring tones! I felt relieved. Foolish, but relieved.