"Lock the doors and close the blinds -- we're going for a ride..."

Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind.
My, my, my-y-y-y Woo!

M-m-m-myyyyy... clette!

Well, folks -- I have a feeling myclette was able to weather out the storm just fine and will be back with this feature in no time at all. But until she does, I'm filling in with a vengeance.

I remember when I first listened to this song. It was in November of 1988 -- about a year after the song was released. It was by a band I had heard of but which was too "indie" for me to actually have heard. But a tall dude named Ian played this on his boom box on the back of a bus heading from the DC suburbs to a USY convention in Virginia Beach. I was amazed by the speed of the song, an homage to policy debate which strung together many different thoughts, including many folks with the initials "L.B."

The song became a classic. Still is. And at our wedding reception in 1998, socKs and I were announced and entered the party to the band playing this very song.

Whatever happened to this band? I'm not sure; I guess they live on in obscurity. But I can tell you what happened to Ian -- he's still tall. And he got married and now has a kid just about avi's age. Also named Avi.

R.E.M. - "It's The End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) (1987)



That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -
world serves its own needs, don't misserve your own needs. Feed it up a knock,
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign tower. Slash and burn,
return, listen to yourself churn. Lock him in uniform and book burning,
blood letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate. Light a candle,
light a motive. Step down, step down. Watch a heel crush, crush. Uh oh,
this means no fear - cavalier. Renegade and steer clear! A tournament,
a tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives
and I decline.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...fine...

(It's time I had some time alone)

(Click here to hear 30 seconds of "It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)."